I have some work event tonight that my coworkers have taken to calling the “mystery party.”* No one’s entirely sure what it’s for, or what’s going to happen. All we are fairly sure of is that it’s not so much optional as it is “optional,” so, we’ll all attend.

This isn’t the end of the world, of course. I mean, there’ll be food (and there are rumors of chocolate, which are almost as good as actual chocolate), and the word “celebration” has been bandied about, so how bad could it be? Celebrations and chocolate!

Except.

We all just got a corporate memo with our mission statement and a reminder of the school’s “visions and goals” so that we can start preparing our talking points for tonight.

Um.

I think someone needs to look up the definition of celebration.

And possibly chocolate.

*I resist that label, because it makes me think we’re going to have some Miss Marple-style sleuthing going on, and then my hopes get dashed. Relatedly, does anyone want to throw a Miss Marple-style mystery party and invite me? Thanks!